A Tale of Civet Coffee Connoisseurs and Those Less Learned
Some very knowledgeable coffee connoisseurs, myself included, were chatting the other day when one of our less sophisticated friends suddenly arrived and immediately began chiming into a conversation we were having about premium gourmet Civet coffee.
I am sure you have heard of it, this Civet coffee which is called Kopi Luwak in Indonesia, Kape Alamid in the Philippines, phe Chon in Vietnam, etc.
Some folks who have not had the benefit of a proper upbringing, and are lacking a little thing called “education” insist on calling it monkey butt coffee, cat poop coffee, ass coffee, and all manner of lazy slangery that shows not only the primitiveness of their palates but also their exceedingly low status in civilized society.
Civet Coffee comes from very precious coffee beans that have been excreted by a cat-like animal called the Civet. The animal is also somewhat like a weasel. Yet it is not a cat or a weasel so it should not be referred to as such and doing so will only highlight your boorish nature.
Well the delicious thing is that, before the brewed coffee ever touches your lips it has already been passed by the animal’s lips, both sets in fact – the Civet has already eaten and defecated the coffee beans.
Also see: The Top Ten Coffees in the World
Civet coffee farmers in Indonesia, the Philippines, Vietnam and other countries scour the earth around the coffee plants and gather up the prized little morsels freshly squeezed from the well-trained sphincters of these discerning little mammals.
From deep within the illustrious crusty droppings the farmers are able to recover tasty nuggets, the prized Civet coffee beans, which they can sell them for high prices to highly-educated coffee connoisseurs like us.
So anyways, this plebian dolt of a friend of ours (we’ve kept him around mostly as an act of charity…I think he was raised in a barn without even a door), suddenly says, “Why would anyone drink coffee that has already been pooped out?”
Wow! He just doesn’t get it, does he? We all rolled our eyes in disbelief, as I am sure you are doing now also….appalled by his pedestrian, unrefined attitude and astounding naivete about all things gourmet!
“I mean, the beans came right out of the animal’s ass!” said our untutored friend. “Right out the rear end! And you guys are going to put that in your mouth?? Are you serious?”
Our friend’s ignorance notwithstanding, the comments got me to thinking that I better help our poor friend and others of his ilk gain some appreciation of this premium gourmet coffee treat even though it is clearly above their station in life, their stunted social class forever doomed to ignominy. So for this purpose I have drafted the: Top Ten Reasons To Drink Animal-Processed Coffee!
As for my Civet Coffee loving friends and I, we can only hope that our unlearned friend will eventually be able to understand the importance of the unique internal coffee bean preparation the Civets provide as they marinate the coffee beans in an intestinal soup of gourmet enzymatic bouillabaisse.
So of course these uneducated souls also cannot truly appreciate the “end product” which is such a delight to the sophisticated palate.
Also see: Best Coffees In the World
Journey Into the Heart of Civet Country
My coffee connoisseur friends and I are now discussing an exploratory outing to a remote wild Civet feeding area where we will set up a makeshift camp in close proximity to the mysterious animals.
With the efficiency of a academy-trained sous chef, the fussy forager works through the night to generate its creations. First the nocturnal mammal chooses just the right ingredients–ripe red coffee cherry–to fill up its stomach so it can begin to conjure up the masterpiece.
Timing is everything, as all good chefs know, and so the Civet bastes the beans in its internal batter through the night to make sure the culinary treat is moist and and ready first thing in the morning when it is deposited on the fecund forest floor where it shines in the glow of the dawn light.
Journal Entry from the Jungle:
Our adventuring expedition, after gathering up enough of these morning constitutionals, returns to our camp to stoke the small fire made with native hardwood charcoal and then uses a small metal skillet for the light roasting.
Since the Civet has been kind enough to grind one out, we will too! However we use a proper coffee grinder, and the only plunger we use is on our French Press.
Then we enjoy a fresh-steaming cup of coffee made with the pre-digested coffee beans that were just minutes earlier steaming on the ground. Before these beans were so ceremoniously deposited on the earth they were making a long journey through the alimentary canal of a furry, long-tailed animal.
Perhaps in future blogs I will expound upon these daring adventures to the far corners of the globe to savor the stool of our furry little friend, and until then we will take pity on our poor untutored friend and his lack of appreciation for ass-passed beans, and his very sorry lack of fondness for all things fecal.
Until then I leave you with the: Top Ten Reasons To Drink Animal-Processed Coffee!
Exploring the World’s Finest Specialty Coffees
To brew the perfect cup of Civet coffee see our section on Brewing Civet Coffee and also our tips for Coffee Brewing in general. We also provide detailed coffee taste profiles of all the finest premium coffees from around the world.
Learn about the history of coffee from the first discovery until the present day in the World’s Best History of Coffee. Coffee connoisseurs can get detailed definitions of coffee terms in the Coffee and Espresso Glossary.
To brew an amazing, aromatic shot of espresso see Pulling A Perfect Espresso Shot and Barista Guide to Perfect Lattes and Cappuccinos, then check out the detailed instructions in our Espresso Drink Recipes.
Civet Coffees from Around the Globe
Civet Coffee is produced by various countries including:
Philippine Civet Coffee (including Bantai Civet Coffee and Arengga Civet Coffee); Vietnam Civet Coffee; Indonesian Civet Coffee; and Simulated Civet Coffee. Also see Beware of Fake Civet Coffee.
Also see Civet Coffee Body, Flavors, and Aromatic Qualities; Civet Coffee From Tree to Cup; Civet Coffee – Buying the World’s Most Expensive Coffee; Civet Coffee FAQ; The Asian Palm Civet; Civet Coffee – What Happens to the Bean in the Civet’s Stomach; and Jacu Bird Coffee.
Discover the Finest Premium Gourmet Coffees
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MMMMMM interesting.Kopi Luwak Hands down if processed correctly is so honest in the cup the flavours and sweetness just get better and better.I drink it everyday
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