World’s Best Coffee Quotes

by Daniel Harrington on February 21, 2011

Only Great Coffee Quotes – No Duds

If I asked for a cup of coffee, someone would search for the double meaning.

Mae West

If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee.

Abraham Lincoln

A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.

Albert Einstein

Should I kill myself, or have a cup of coffee?

Albert Camus

When I think of Joe in the dressing room, it’s always with a cup of coffee and a cigarette. He was a heavy smoker. He was a great ball player …Joe always wanted to win. He was great on the field and off it.

Yogi Berra

Like everyone else who makes the mistake of getting older, I begin each day with coffee and obituaries.

Bill Cosby

Do you know how many calories are in butter and cheese and ice cream? Would you get your dog up in the morning for a cup of coffee and a donut?

Jack LaLanne

I never drink coffee at lunch. I find it keeps me awake for the afternoon.

Ronald Reagan

For I have known them all already, known them all. Have known the evenings, mornings, afternoons, I have measured out my life with coffee spoons; I know the voices dying with a dying fall. Beneath the music from a farther room.

Thomas Eliot, Love Song of Alfred Prufrock (1917)

The superiority of chocolate (hot chocolate), both for health and nourishment, will soon give it the same preference over tea and coffee in America which it has in Spain.

Thomas Jefferson

Funny Coffee Quotes

A 41-inch bust and a lot of perseverance will get you more than a cup of coffee – a lot more.

Jayne Mansfield

Why don’t you have a cup of coffee at least? I, um, I’m a little low in sugar and I don’t have any cream, but it’s real coffee.

Barbara Streisand

Natalie’s estate is handled by Global Icons, and they police the world so her picture isn’t on a T-shirt or coffee cup unless we approve of it.

Robert Wagner

If it wasn’t for coffee. I’d have no discernible personality at all.

David Letterman

It was a pleasant cafe, warm and clean and friendly, and I hung up my old water-proof on the coat rack to dry and put my worn and weathered felt hat on the rack above the bench and ordered a cafe au lait. The waiter brought it and I took out a notebook from the pocket of the coat and a pencil and started to write.

Ernest Hemingway

Gourmet coffee lovers will like to explore the world of Bird Friendly Coffee, Organic Coffee, Fair Trade Coffee and Shade-Grown Coffee as well as Instant Coffee and Decaffeinated Coffee.

Coffee, according to the women of Denmark, is to the body what the Word of the Lord is to the soul.

Isak Dinesen

Of all the unchristian beverages that ever passed my lips, Turkish coffee is the worst. The cup is small, it is smeared with grounds; the coffee is black, thick, unsavory of smell, and execrable in taste. The bottom of the cup has a muddy sediment in it half an inch deep. This goes down your throat, and portions of it lodge by the way, and produce a tickling aggravation that keeps you barking and coughing for an hour.

Mark Twain, The Innocents Abroad

The drink that comforteth the brain and heart and helpeth digestion.

Bacon

Coffee is creative lighter fluid.

Floyd Maxwell

Coffee: Induces wit. Good only if it comes through Havre. After a big dinner party it is taken standing up. Take it without sugar — very swank: gives the impression you have lived in the East.

Gustave Flaubert (1821-1880)

World’s Best Coffee Quotes continued:

I call it the ‘doll house,’ … It’s absolutely gorgeous, especially at this time of year. It’s a crisp sky and, you know, if we wake up on a clear morning, and then I take little Norm out for a walk, have a little coffee on the deck.

Jennifer Aniston

Like everyone else who makes the mistake of getting older, I begin each day with coffee and obituaries.

Bill Cosby

What is this demilitarized zone? Whatever it is, I like it! Gets you on your toes better than a strong cup of cappuccino.

Robin Williams, Good Morning Vietnam

Rock and roll is instant coffee.

Bob Geldof

Coffee leads men to trifle away their time, scald their chops, and spend their money, all for a little base, black, thick, nasty, bitter, stinking nauseous puddle water.

1674 Women’s Petition Against Coffee

No one can understand the truth until he drinks of coffee’s frothy goodness.

Sheik Abd al-Qadir

It was one of those mornings when a man could face the day only after warming himself with a mug of thick coffee beaded with steam, a good thick crust of bread, and a bowl of bean soup.

Richard Gehman, The Haphazard Gourmet (1966)

During the Depression, or back when we were fighting Hitler, people didn’t have time to sue a company if the coffee was too hot. There were urgent, pressing problems. If you think you have it tough, read history books.

Bill Maher

Funny Quotes – Coffee Quotes

Coffee was only a way of stealing time that should by rights belong to your slightly older self.

Terry Pratchett, Thud!

Rock’n’roll is instant coffee.

Bob Geldof

There’s people outside our house; you get followed by photographers; you can’t go out and have a cup of coffee with a friend without someone coming up to you.

Jack Osbourne

Why don’t you have a cup of coffee at least? I, um, I’m a little low in sugar and I don’t have any cream, but it’s real coffee.

Barbara Streisand

It is the folly of too many to mistake the echo of a London coffee-house for the voice of the kingdom.

Jonathan Swift, The Conduct of Allies (1711)

I bought a decaffeinated coffee table, you can’t even see a difference.

Anonymous

Whereas it is most apparent that the multitude of Coffee Houses of late years set up and kept within this Kingdom…and the great resort of idle and disaffected persons to them, have produced very much of their time, which might and probably would be employed in and about their Lawful Calling and Affairs; but also for that in such houses…divers, false, malitious, and scandalous reports are devised and spread abroad to the Defamation of His Majesty’s Government, and to the disturbance of the Peace and Quiet of the Realm; his Majesty hath though it fit and necessary, that the said Coffee Houses be (for the Future) put down and suppressed. [Revoked on January 8, 1676 due to widespread citizen protests]

King Charles II of England, Proclamation For the Suppression of Coffee Houses (December 23, 1675)

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat.

Alex Levine

Uh oh, this guy needs coffee and croolers stat.

Wayne (Mike Myers), Wayne’s World

Coffee: we can get it anywhere, and get as loaded as we like on it, until such teeth-chattering, eye-bulging, nonsense-gibbering time as we may be classified unable to operate heavy machinery.

Joan Frank (1991)

The average American’s simplest and commonest form of breakfast consists of coffee and beefsteak.

Mark Twain, A Tramp Abroad

More Great World’s Best Coffee Quotes – Funny Quotes About Coffee:

During the Depression, or back when we were fighting Hitler, people didn’t have time to sue a company if the coffee was too hot. There were urgent, pressing problems. If you think you have it tough, read history books.

Comedian Bill Maher

It’s a sad tale, but true. The thrifty young student comes to campus in pursuit of knowledge, only to be led astray by casual sex, recreational drugs and the sweet aromas of the roasted coffee bean.

David Adesnik


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